It’s
amazing how this virus with its lock-down and social distancing edicts has made
us draw on skills that have remained buried deep in our DNA for thousands of
years. The streets are now filled with stealthy hunters gathering early in the
mornings waiting for a herd of fast-disappearing Andrex or the ever-elusive
face masks to come to the local watering hole.
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| Early hunter gatherers (graphic art courtesy of Mariella) |
In
Britain this crisis has also revealed that survival-of-the-fittest Darwinism
and the population theories of Thomas Malthus (both Brits, by the way) are
alive and well. One of the reasons that the UK lags far behind counties such as
Germany in Coronavirus testing is that’s its initial response was the so-called
‘herd-immunity’ – something like ‘we’re all going to get sick anyway so
let’s get sick and then the herd (us) will develop an immunity to this virus.
If people die along the way, well that’s too bad but inevitable. So what’s the
point of wasting money on testing.’ Underlying this belief was the unstated
– publicly anyway – belief that this ‘culling of the herd’ was long
overdue. It was a little disconcerting to hear people who get upset at the
thought of culling badgers express such eagerness for culling a large part of
the human population. Rather makes one feel like the sheep just before Easter.
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| Time to think about moving on -- rapidly |
This
enforced home stay has also reinforced my earlier belief that certain home
appliances are not to be touched. I grant you that washing clothes has evolved
a bit beyond women gathering at a local stream and beating one’s clothes over a
handy rock. But it should not be beyond the wit of man to design a machine that
does not require a degree in mechanical engineering to operate. In a burst of
enthusiasm a few years ago when my wife was out I decided to help by doing the
laundry. Simple, right? Put the clothes - regardless of color - in the
machine, dump in a little washing powder, push a couple of buttons and away you
go. Actually, not so simple. Confronted with a control panel that would not be
out of place on a nuclear submarine one resorts to the tried-and-tested formula
of ‘more is better than less and hotter is better than colder.’ Thinking
to save drying time I moved what I thought was the spin dial to maximum, shut
the door and proudly pushed the start button. Alas, the result when I opened
the door about an hour later was not entirely satisfactory. First, what I
thought was the spin dial was actually the heat dial. Therefore, some of the
clothes that went into the washing machine emerged a few sizes smaller. My wife
is small. But not that small. Second, the color. You know, it’s amazing
what very hot water and too much washing powder will do to colors. Suffice it
to say that my view that this by-now multi-colored blouse was quite stylish
was not widely shared. Even in these dire times I am banned from the washing
machine.
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| Oh well, we tried |
1 comment:
I have a special relationship with Kant since one of my neighbours, a philosophy lecturer at a UK university, told me he was writing a manual on Kant. "Kant for Dummies?" I said. Yes indeed, he agreed. When I enquired about the progress of the mighty tome many weeks later, I was told that things weren't going well. Trying to be polite and desperate to think of something sympathetic to say, I blurted out "I suppose you just have to do a little bit every day!" When the manual was eventually completed, I received a lovely card thanking me for my inspired guidance, which I had some difficulty in recalling. And as an aside, I know the gentleman in question doesn't have a washing machine. There must be a link there, somewhere.
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